{"id":2703,"date":"2018-01-17T17:23:13","date_gmt":"2018-01-17T22:23:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/phosdev.com\/todaysveterinarynurse\/?post_type=articles&#038;p=2703"},"modified":"2022-02-15T21:27:05","modified_gmt":"2022-02-15T21:27:05","slug":"building-resiliency-through-our-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/navc.sitepreview.app\/todaysveterinarynurse.com\/personal-professional-development\/building-resiliency-through-our-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Resiliency Through Our Story"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"contentsContainer\">\n<div id=\"contents\">\n<p id=\"E741\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E742\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">According to the American Psychological Association, <\/span><strong><span id=\"E743\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">resilience<\/span><\/strong><span id=\"E744\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"> is \u201cthe process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress.\u201d<\/span><sup><span id=\"E745\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">1<\/span><\/sup><span id=\"E746\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"> Essentially, it means \u201cbouncing back\u201d from difficult experiences.<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E747\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E748\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">What makes something difficult? The answer is\u2026our brain does. Our experiences are not difficult until we have a thought that makes them so. (Stay with me on this.)<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E749\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E750\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">When you look at the facts of any experience and don\u2019t get tangled up in the story your mind wants to create, you will find that you have some options. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E751\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E752\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">In fact, you have a choice in how you interpret anything. That includes any situation, any patient, any client, any organizational change, and any coworker\u2019s behavior. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E753\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E754\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">How you adapt or bounce back from something is determined by how you handle it in your mind. There are the facts, but it is what you make of those facts that determines your ability to be resilient. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E755\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E756\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">You always have 3 options in response to any situation: empowerment, neutrality, or drama. <\/span><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"E757\" class=\"qowt-stl-B-Head\"><span id=\"E760\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Empower Yourself<\/span><\/h2>\n<p id=\"E761\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E762\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Jennifer is an LVT I recently met in Louisiana. After she attended a compassion fatigue workshop of mine for animal workers, she contacted me to share her story. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E763\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E764\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">She told me how she worked in disaster relief during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. She witnessed unspeakable tragedy, including the suffering and death of animals. Yet this is what she told me: \u201cI was so honored and proud to be able to help those that I could. I know I saved a lot of lives in the weeks I was in New Orleans.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E765\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E766\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Jennifer could\u2019ve easily told me about all the horror she witnessed and how unfair it all was. She could have described how there wasn\u2019t enough help for the animals and how many animals died. But she didn\u2019t. She chose to tell her story from a place of <\/span><strong><span id=\"E767\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">empowerment<\/span><\/strong><span id=\"E768\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E769\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E770\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">She knew she couldn\u2019t control much of the situation, but what she could control, she was going to <\/span><em><span id=\"E771\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">own<\/span><\/em><span id=\"E772\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">. <\/span><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"E773\" class=\"qowt-stl-B-Head\"><span id=\"E776\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Neutral Is an Option<\/span><\/h2>\n<p id=\"E777\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E778\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Megan is a CVT in Illinois and a former coaching client of mine. She works in lab animal research, and part of her responsibility includes euthanizing the animals.<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E779\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E780\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">When we started working together, Megan was suffering from compassion fatigue and was very attached to thinking how unfair it is that these animals have to be euthanized. She also felt it was unfair that she is often the one to do it and that we have to use animal models in research.<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E781\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E782\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Now, Megan thinks about it completely differently. She owns her role as a caregiver and welfare advocate for the animals in her care. She accepts that euthanasia is part of what she signed on to do. Does she love that part of her job? No. Yet she knows she can honor her animals\u2019 sacrifice and give them a humane ending. She chooses to tell people her story from a <\/span><strong><span id=\"E783\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">neutral<\/span><\/strong><span id=\"E784\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"> place: <\/span><span id=\"E785\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"><em>I work with animals in research. We learn from them and give them a peaceful death<\/em><\/span><em><span id=\"E786\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"E787\" class=\"qowt-stl-B-Head\"><span id=\"E790\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Here Comes the Drama<\/span><\/h2>\n<p id=\"E791\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E792\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Earlier this year, an international veterinary association magazine interviewed me for an article on compassion fatigue. They also asked for a photo of me to include with the article, so I sent one of me and my beloved pug, <\/span><span id=\"E793\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Ernie. A few days later, I received a reply from the editor informing me that they \u201cdo not use photos of dogs or cats with known animal welfare issues such as brachycephalic breeds.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E795\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><em><span id=\"E796\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">What? <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p id=\"E797\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E798\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">My mind was going crazy, creating all kinds of stories about how they must think I\u2019m a terrible person for having pugs, etc. I was feeling attacked, victimized, and offended. Mind you, the editor\u2019s words were not attacking,\u00a0<\/span>victimizing or offensive\u2026I created all that in my mind.<\/p>\n<p class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E801\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">So<\/span><span id=\"E803\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"> because I had created this story in my mind, I wanted to add to the plot. I shot off an email to my pug\u2019s breeder, who happens to be a veterinarian. Within minutes she responded and supported my outrage. I then texted a dear friend of mine, an owner of 2 Boston terriers (<\/span><span id=\"E805\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Brachycephalics<\/span><span id=\"E807\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"> Unite!). Bingo! She too joined the story I was creating in my mind.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"contentsContainer\">\n<div id=\"contents\">\n<p id=\"E808\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E809\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">End of Act 1.<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E810\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E811\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Act 2. My mind offered me the \u201csolution\u201d of dropping out of the article. <\/span><em><span id=\"E812\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">If they don\u2019t like who I am\u2014someone who adores pugs\u2014then there is no place for me in the article.<\/span><\/em><span id=\"E813\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"> (Ridiculous, I know. But my mind was on a roll now.) <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E814\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E815\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">This is an example of option <\/span><strong><span id=\"E816\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">drama<\/span><\/strong><span id=\"E817\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">. Something happened (\u201cno pugs in our magazine please!\u201d), and I rallied others to join my outrage and strengthen it, to prove how \u201cright\u201d I was. I considered opting out of the article in passive-aggression. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E818\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E819\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">I\u2019m smart enough to know not to fire off emails in the heat of the moment, and once a little time had passed, I asked myself this question: <\/span><em><span id=\"E820\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">What is my purpose here?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p id=\"E821\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E822\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Is it to change the way international veterinary associations view pugs? No. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E823\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E824\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Is it to help the veterinary community know what compassion fatigue is and offer relief from their suffering? Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E825\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E827\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">So<\/span><span id=\"E829\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"> I aligned with my purpose of helping the veterinary community, sent in a new picture (sans pug), and now I tell the story like this: <\/span><em><span id=\"E830\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">This international veterinary association doesn\u2019t use photos with brachycephalic breeds, so I sent in another one. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p id=\"E831\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E832\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">While it may have taken some time for me to get to that place, this is an example of how we always have options in our interpretation of anything. The way you interpret something will dictate how you respond. The story you tell yourself and others is entirely up to you. <\/span><\/p>\n<h2 id=\"E833\" class=\"qowt-stl-B-Head\"><span id=\"E836\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Resisting Reality<\/span><\/h2>\n<p id=\"E837\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E838\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">How we bounce back or return to our normal state after experiencing something challenging is an integral part of veterinary medicine\u2014and life. The severity and frequency of trauma makes a difference. The less time we have between events, tragedies, and adversity, the more vulnerable we are to staying stuck in what I call \u201cresisting reality.\u201d When we resist reality, we suffer. When we spend our energy wanting things to be different than they are, we pay a big price. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E839\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E840\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Horrific and tragic things happen. Animals are euthanized, sometimes at young ages. Animals are abused and neglected. So are people. Children get sick and die. <\/span><span id=\"E842\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">So<\/span><span id=\"E844\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"> do animals. Humans do terrible things. <\/span><span id=\"E846\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">So<\/span><span id=\"E848\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\"> do animals. It\u2019s all part of life. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E849\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E850\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">We deserve to feel sad sometimes, to grieve the loss of a being that touched our hearts in a profound way. It\u2019s okay to feel what we feel. As a matter of fact, it is vital to feel what we feel. But remember you have options in how you tell the story to yourself and to others. You can tell just the facts (neutral), describe how you rose above it (empowerment), or get caught up in your story and create a whirlwind of emotion (drama) that has no benefit. <\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"E851\" class=\"qowt-stl-Body\"><span id=\"E852\" class=\"qowt-font5-Calibri\">Your story is yours to tell. Make it a great one, because it is a great one.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is \u201cthe process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2704,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-winter-2018","column-final_thoughts","clinical_topics-personal-professional-development"],"acf":{"hide_sidebar":false,"hide_sidebar_ad":false,"hide_all_ads":false},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.7 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - 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