{"id":76961,"date":"2024-10-10T00:00:48","date_gmt":"2024-10-10T04:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/todaysveterinarybusiness.com\/?p=76961"},"modified":"2025-08-12T10:25:42","modified_gmt":"2025-08-12T14:25:42","slug":"saying-no-prioitize-well-being","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/navc.sitepreview.app\/todaysveterinarybusiness.com\/saying-no-fearless-1024\/","title":{"rendered":"When to Say No and How to Prioritize Your Well-Being"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have struggled to say \u201cno\u201d my whole life. I was raised to think that saying it was selfish. That tendency created guilt in me and increased my propensity to say \u201cyes,\u201d even when I was physically overwhelmed, mentally spent or not qualified for a task. One small comfort over my career was knowing I wasn\u2019t alone. After all, most veterinarians are people-pleasing, anxious perfectionists who fear rejection, missing out and failure if they say \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A 2016 research review by social psychologist Dr. Vanessa K. Bohns showed that many people agree to do things \u2014 even if they\u2019d prefer not to \u2014 to avoid the discomfort of saying \u201cno.\u201d Yet, we often forget that the moment we say \u201cyes\u201d comes with an opportunity cost, one that depletes us and adds to our levels of anxiety, depression and compassion fatigue.<\/p>\n<p>How can we learn to say \u201cno\u201d without guilt? How can we say it politely? How will our bosses respond to \u201cno\u201d? Those are everyday worries.<\/p>\n<p>Reading this article is your first step toward saying \u201cyes\u201d to the life-changing skill of saying \u201cno.\u201d\u00a0 While making it a habit won\u2019t happen overnight, here are actionable steps to achieve a better career and personal life.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>When to Say \u201cNo\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>I started a consulting business before I <a href=\"https:\/\/todaysveterinarybusiness.com\/veterinary-practice-sale-legal-lingo-0624\/\">sold my veterinary practice<\/a>. Because it was a new role, I decided to say \u201cyes\u201d to prospective clients and take any opportunity, large or small, familiar or foreign, paid or unpaid. While that approach might build a business, I didn\u2019t focus my growth.<\/p>\n<p>According to Dr. Ahona Guha, a clinical and forensic psychologist, here are the five questions to ask yourself:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do I have the time, energy and money for this now?<\/li>\n<li>Do I want to do this?<\/li>\n<li>Will this add value to my life?<\/li>\n<li>Is this aligned with my values?<\/li>\n<li>Am I saying \u201cyes\u201d only because I am scared to say \u201cno\u201d?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As I look at some of my initial business opportunities through the lens of those questions, I know I should have done things differently.<\/p>\n<p>Over the years, I\u2019ve received advice like, \u201cNo is a complete sentence,\u201d and this Warren Buffett line: \u201cThe difference between successful people and the very successful people is that a very successful person says \u2018no\u2019 to almost everything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I was aligned with the sentiment but had no idea how to put it into action without guilt or regret. A crucial point I missed was the context of the relationship \u2014 how close the person was to me in life and how that fact changed my delivery. As I started considering how I felt after declining personal and professional requests and opportunities, I realized that saying \u201cno\u201d might not be one-size-fits-all.<\/p>\n<p>Another part of the equation is setting and respecting boundaries. Not until I hit an enormous physical and mental brick wall did I come to a dramatic, but thankfully temporary, halt. I was forced to reassess myself and learn that even our closest relationships require boundaries.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>The Different Faces of \u201cNo\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Let\u2019s explore practical ways to say \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE KIND \u201cNO\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Many people lead with kindness, and I fall into that category. The risk arises when kindness isn\u2019t paired with clarity. Therefore, be kind but clear if a colleague asks you to work a double shift for the third time this month. You can say:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m sorry, my friend, but I\u2019m unable to.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cSadly, I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cUnfortunately, I can\u2019t make that work this time.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Avoid flimsy phrases like \u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d and \u201cWell, maybe I could do it.\u201d Those responses make staying firm with your \u201cno\u201d more difficult.<\/p>\n<p><strong>THE CLASSIC \u201cNO\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>One word can be a complete sentence. I suggest saying it, pausing and letting the receiving person process it. Often, we feel the need to fill the silence with expressions of guilt or a change of heart. The less said, the better the outcome.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cNO\u201d WITH AN EXPLANATION<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If uttering a simple \u201cno\u201d makes you uncomfortable, here\u2019s a different strategy \u2014 in this case, when someone requests your time.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m really sorry I can\u2019t switch shifts with you this weekend. But I could in two weekends if that would help.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI appreciate you asking me to be on your podcast. However, I will have to pass because I\u2019m fully scheduled until December. Reach out to me then so that we can coordinate.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m honored you want me to be on this advisory project. Unfortunately, the timing doesn\u2019t work in my current schedule. If we can push it back a month, I can participate.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>THE TURN-THE-TABLES \u201cNO\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When workplace tasks seem unreasonable or outside one\u2019s skill set, start a two-way conversation to resolve the issue. For example, say, \u201cI\u2019m happy to do X, Y and Z; however, I would need three weeks, rather than two, to do a good job. How would you like me to prioritize them?\u201d<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Is \u201cMaybe\u201d Acceptable?<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>I\u2019ve worked with my <a href=\"https:\/\/todaysveterinarypractice.com\/personal-professional-development\/mentoring-and-coaching-new-veterinary-graduates\/\">life coach<\/a> on a third strategy: not seeing life as only black-or-white choices. Instead, choices can be black AND white. For example, someone might propose a wonderful opportunity that your schedule doesn\u2019t allow. You might respond that you will think about it and try to rework your calendar. In other words, it\u2019s a \u201cnot now\u201d instead of a full-blown \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m a work in progress in the sense that learning to say \u201cno\u201d will probably take me a lifetime of practice. We must be selfish sometimes so that we remain healthy personally and are ready for those who depend on us. When we stay accountable to our boundaries, needs and values, we develop better relationships with our teams, clients and ourselves.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #008000\"><strong>BEING RELENTLESSLY PLEASANT<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<p>An interesting phrase associated with saying \u201cno\u201d came from the University of Michigan and its former president, Dr. Mary Sue Coleman. \u201cRelentlessly pleasant\u201d means being firm and insistent but friendly when saying \u201cno.\u201d Why both terms?<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Coleman found that a person who is relentless and unpleasant is considered a jerk. On the other hand, being pleasant without being relentless makes someone a vulnerable target. She says the most successful people are relentless and pleasant.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Saying \u201cno\u201d gets easier over time when you prioritize your well-being.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":76963,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[525],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-76961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-october-november-2024","column-fearless","clinical_topics-personal-professional-development"],"acf":{"hide_sidebar":false,"hide_sidebar_ad":false,"hide_all_ads":false},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.7 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>When to Say No and How to Prioritize Your Well-Being | Today&#039;s Veterinary Business<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Saying no can be hard but it&#039;s important to prioritize your well-being. 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