{"id":3986,"date":"2018-10-01T00:00:19","date_gmt":"2018-10-01T07:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/todaysveterinarybusiness.com\/?p=3986"},"modified":"2022-03-09T15:52:07","modified_gmt":"2022-03-09T15:52:07","slug":"surrender-to-the-present","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/navc.sitepreview.app\/todaysveterinarybusiness.com\/surrender-to-the-present\/","title":{"rendered":"Surrender to the present"},"content":{"rendered":"

We love the veterinary profession. It attracts some of the most passionate, caring and down-to-earth people \u2014 people with servant hearts who will give you the shirt off their back and who don\u2019t suffer from superinflated egos. You can\u2019t get much better than that. If you\u2019re reading this, we\u2019re talking about you!<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also true that many of these same people are professionally driven high achievers who have a bias for action and results. It\u2019s not uncommon to see some perfectionistic tendencies. All these things are, of course, necessary ingredients for being recognized experts and thought leaders in any field, especially medicine. These attributes serve us well in a complicated world that\u2019s characterized by predictability, where cause and effect are either known or at least predictable and where it is possible, with the right expertise and effort, to find the right solution.<\/p>\n

We are naturally wired to solve problems, make progress and achieve results. The challenge comes when we link our identity and our definition of success solely to the ability to predict situations and control outcomes.<\/p>\n

The complex, unpredictable world we find ourselves living in is calling for something more from us. As the saying goes, \u201cWhat got us here won\u2019t get us to where we need to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

As leaders and influencers, we are all daunted by complexity in some form. While we all care greatly for the important work we do for people and animals, game-changing disruptions make it challenging to plan. Distractions abound, and never-ending to-do lists divert our attention from what\u2019s really important. Our education was not designed to prepare us for this kind of complex world. Our traditional narratives about success implicitly, and often explicitly, teach us that we should be able to largely control and direct things according to our wishes, although realities suggest otherwise.<\/p>\n

In his book \u201cPresence-Based Leadership,\u201d Doug Silsbee describes complexity as something of a crapshoot. He reassures us that the gap between the needs of the moment and our ability to effectively navigate this new territory should come as no surprise since we\u2019re all facing conditions different from what we\u2019re prepared for or could possibly anticipate. He writes: \u201cDoing what has worked previously is understandable. It\u2019s a predictable reaction to a new and mysterious set of conditions. And it\u2019s wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

Silsbee suggests that a radically new way of leading requires developing a new way of seeing ourselves and the world around us. He states, \u201cWe begin by recognizing and acknowledging that we are struggling, accepting that we want things to be simpler and more predictable than they actually are, and that we are at an impasse as to how to navigate.\u201d<\/p>\n

An Invitation to Surrender<\/h3>\n

The last sentence hit one of this column\u2019s co-authors, Jeff Thoren, like a ton of bricks. Here\u2019s Jeff:<\/p>\n

\u201cLife over the past year and a half has been anything but controllable or predictable. And, in retrospect, I have definitely struggled with the uncertainty of it all, frequently feeling like I am stuck in a constant state of limbo. On a cognitive level, I appreciate that I have been presented with a significant opportunity for learning and growth and, on another more emotional and visceral level, I have found myself resisting and resenting the process, even expressing anger at times.<\/p>\n

\u201cI realize that I have been resisting complexity itself, often voicing the desire for things to be simpler and easier. In essence, \u2018The cheese has moved\u2019 and I have not yet fully changed and adapted. (If you\u2019ve read Spencer Johnson\u2019s iconic book \u2018Who Moved My Cheese?\u2019 you know what I\u2019m talking about.) An important first step for me to embrace is the idea of surrender.<\/p>\n

\u201cSurrender has been an important concept in my faith journey over the years. I was recently reintroduced to it in a new way through a post by Ipek Serifsoy, Ph.D., president of the Deep Coaching Institute. In her post, available at http:\/\/bit.ly\/2MzG0Fy<\/a>, Dr. Serifsoy notes that \u2018The ego knows itself through efforting while resisting what it cannot control.\u2019 Yes, that would describe me! She goes on to say that \u2018Our habitual egoic patterns take us away from presence and into reaction and suffering.\u2019 That definitely got my attention since it was consistent with my current experience. Thankfully, there\u2019s an alternative possibility: surrendering.<\/p>\n

\u201cSurrender has nothing to do with weakness or being passive and lazy. In surrendering, we\u2019re not waving a white flag and giving up. Instead, we\u2019re allowing the natural flow of life. And we\u2019re being honest with ourselves by acknowledging that most of what we think we can control is really an illusion.<\/p>\n

\u201cDr. Serifsoy summarized it this way: \u2018Life has a mysterious way of unfolding moment by moment \u2014 and we\u2019re a participant in that unfolding! Our choice is to say \u2018YES\u2019 and trust the unfoldment, to be fully present to what\u2019s really happening, to show up for each moment in the creative way it\u2019s meant to be met. Or we can say \u2018NO\u2019 and let our egoic tendencies dominate our response.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know about you, but I want to say YES and trust the process. For me, surrendering means letting go of striving, accepting the rapidly changing and uncertain (i.e., \u2018complex\u2019) circumstances around me, and adopting an attitude of curiosity and a spirit of experimentation. Instead of blaming myself or others for not having a tried-and-true strategy for dealing with complexity, I can accept the fact that we\u2019re in a totally new game and there is no strategy to be had.\u201d<\/p>\n

Being Present to \u201cWhat Is\u201d<\/h3>\n

Do you ever find yourself responding to \u201cHow are things going?\u201d with some variation of the answer \u201cBusy\u201d? In our Western culture, we seem to wear busyness as a badge of honor, somehow thinking that busyness is the path to success and happiness<\/a>. It makes sense that we would think that way since strong unconscious value systems of \u201cno pain, no gain\u201d surround us and are reinforced in many ways. However, as Silsbee and Dr. Serifsoy have alluded to, the secret sauce needed to more effectively navigate complexity begins with being present, not with being busy. Gandhi put it this way: \u201cThere is more to life than increasing its speed. Speed is irrelevant if you are going in the wrong direction.\u201d<\/p>\n

Have a Presence<\/h3>\n

So, let\u2019s explore an alternative to busyness: presence. Presence is an internal state. It\u2019s being fully here and being fully present with reality as it is, not as we would like it to be. Silsbee offers, \u201cPresence requires us to stay with even what is uncomfortable, so that it becomes tolerable and so that we can organize ourselves towards what matters, rather than away from discomfort.\u201d<\/p>\n

Presence is how we:<\/p>\n