{"id":24345,"date":"2023-08-01T00:00:30","date_gmt":"2023-08-01T00:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/todaysveterinarybusiness.com\/?p=24345"},"modified":"2023-07-27T22:38:36","modified_gmt":"2023-07-27T22:38:36","slug":"authenticity-go-with-the-flow-0823","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/navc.sitepreview.app\/todaysveterinarybusiness.com\/authenticity-go-with-the-flow-0823\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Achieve Authenticity"},"content":{"rendered":"

This time around, our exploration of \u201cflow,\u201d the state of being fully present and meeting the challenges of the moment with a calm, clear focus and access to all our resources, takes us to the territory of authenticity. If those magic moments of flow occur when we are fully ourselves without apprehension, fear or self-limitation, then our ability to access a meaningful level of authenticity must be one of the key \u201cgating\u201d elements for experiencing flow. And as you\u2019ll see further on, our interest in authenticity is also very personal.<\/p>\n

Mike Robbins, an author and coach who focuses on teamwork, leadership and emotional intelligence, encourages authenticity by reminding folks of Oscar Wilde\u2019s advice: \u201cBe yourself; everyone else is already taken.\u201d As the quote suggests, many of us have an underlying sense that we possess a meaningful combination of gifts to express if only we have enough courage. At the same time, we must be honest that our culture and experiences taught us that being fully authentic is unsafe. How do we get across that divide?<\/p>\n

Robbins outlined five fundamental principles for anyone wishing to access the power of authenticity.<\/p>\n

1. Know Yourself<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If authenticity is about living who we are instead of choosing a safer but inauthentic social mask, then we must start by recognizing who we are. While that might sound simple, we need the courage to look within ourselves and admit our thoughts, feelings, aspirations and insecurities in their fullness. Identifying the external actions (often trivial ones) that trigger us is easy, but seeing through those outside triggers to the underlying web of thoughts and emotions within is another matter.<\/p>\n

Canadian physician and author Dr. Gabor Mat\u00e9 suggests a simple tool for this process. Rather than asking, \u201cWhat is my authentic self?\u201d note the times when you recognized you were inauthentic. The self that feels inauthenticity is your authentic self in Dr. Mat\u00e9\u2019s view.<\/p>\n

2. Transform Your Fear<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Once we have a sense of our genuine self, we have the challenge of expressing that self honestly and openly and having the courage to seek what we want in life. Fear is the natural barrier at this point.<\/p>\n

As Robbins put it, \u201cThe question isn\u2019t whether we experience fear in our lives; the more important question for each of us to ask and to answer is: How can I move through my fears honestly so they don\u2019t stop me from being who I really am and going for what I truly want in life?\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Express Yourself<\/strong><\/h3>\n

If you\u2019ve always been the \u201cnice guy\/gal,\u201d then expressing yourself authentically can represent a radical departure from an identity you and everyone around you have grown accustomed to. But if you fit in this category, this simple question is worth considering: How can I expect anyone to know and respond to the real me if I never give them the opportunity?<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all had the experience of pushing through internal resistance and finally getting something important off our chest. Ironically, there\u2019s often a greater sense of relief from being true to ourselves in taking that step than fear about how the receiver of our \u201ctruth\u201d will respond. Again, these are the kinds of moments that point us to our authenticity.<\/p>\n

4. Be Bold<\/strong><\/h3>\n

While expressing ourselves is a crucial principle of authenticity, we must go further to reach for our genuine aspirations. According to Robbins, \u201cBeing bold has to do with us getting in touch with our deepest truths, passions and desires in life and then having the courage to live and act out loud in a way that is congruent with this.\u201d<\/p>\n

That means stepping to the edge of our comfort zone and perhaps beyond to live in a way we find most exciting and enlivening. If we\u2019ve transformed our fear, being bold feels less like a white-knuckle roller coaster ride and more like an exciting daringness. Instead of clinging to hope for a narrow outcome in a wide range of possibilities, there\u2019s a dynamic interaction with life that is rooted in, and often fascinated by, what is unfolding now.<\/p>\n

5. Celebrate Who You Are<\/strong><\/h3>\n

In Robbins\u2019 view, the whole goal of authenticity is to love ourselves generously. If we love ourselves, we can step past the limitations of fear and worry, as we don\u2019t need any particular outcomes to feel fulfilled and whole. And if we don\u2019t love ourselves, we\u2019ll never get there through any external relationships, possessions or accomplishments, no matter how many times we try.<\/p>\n

An Exercise in Authenticity<\/strong><\/h3>\n

As we worked on this article, Trey had a huge opportunity to exercise authenticity. His empty-nest home had become a bit of a rehab center, with his three adult children returning to live there while recovering. For his youngest, an ACL tear sidelined her sports career. For the middle child, it was a debilitating hyperthyroid condition. And for his oldest, it was facing half a lifetime of alcoholism and addiction. Put a few additional stressors in that pot, and sure enough, everyone in the family had found something to stew over.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, the youngest had the wisdom to call a family meeting, and the oldest had the AA tools to help the family create a safe container for such a sensitive moment. Trey had the benefit of focusing on the concepts discussed here and using them to share from his heart as honestly and fully as possible, acknowledging unattractive aspects of himself that he could not fully explain or understand. Others followed suit in their own ways, and the conversation provided moments of awkward lurching and genuine healing.<\/p>\n

In the end, everyone could speak their truth and be fully heard, which was its own reward. Since the conversation, shifts have continued to unfold (mostly positive), and the Cutler family rolls on.<\/p>\n

Being Authentic in a Conflict Situation<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The tools used to create a safe container can be applied when conflict arises and needs to be addressed. Here are a few of the basics:<\/p>\n