Nineteen months ago, I quit my job as a vice president in corporate practice. I walked away from a company I loved and a role I’d worked incredibly hard at. The job paid well, and I did meaningful work. As an introvert plagued by impostor syndrome, I’d achieved more than I ever thought possible.
Why did I quit? For so many reasons, but ultimately, it came down to constant stress, which led to insomnia, illness and complete burnout. The tension arose from these three factors:
While pursuing promotion and the increased challenges and demands that came with it, I became separated from what I valued most: working with the people helping clients and pets every day in veterinary hospitals.
My promotion to a national position came shortly before the pandemic and had a steep learning curve. And as if that work wasn’t challenging enough, I ended a 23-year marriage, moved across the country and put my only daughter into college. It was an incredibly stressful time. Thankfully, but somewhat ironically, the company I decided to leave had guided me onto a path of health and well-being, changing my priorities and self-care.
Having coached and managed many employees whose roles didn’t fit their capabilities, I realized I had become that person. When my doctor handed me a prescription to treat anxiety and depression, I knew something had to change. So, with the support of family and trusted advisers, I permitted myself to leave everything behind and take time off to unwind my tightly coiled internal spring while I figured out what to do next.
I’ve made three major career moves, leaping into the unknown each time.
- I bought a rural, mixed animal practice on the plains of southeast New Mexico only eight months out of the Oklahoma State University College of Veterinary Medicine. I was far from home with no money and less sense, not to mention a lack of business and people skills.
- During a recession 15 years later, I sold that small-town practice and moved my family to Edmond, Oklahoma, to join corporate practice as the full-time medical director for 35 doctors. Until then, the only doctor I’d managed had been my now ex-husband, but somebody saw something in me and offered the lifeline I needed at the right time.
- In 2022, after my resignation from corporate practice and a mental health break, I returned to my roots and first love: seeing pets and connecting with clients at a small independent practice in Portland, Oregon. I’m also coaching new independent practice owners — people in the same shoes I wore so long ago.
Personal Growth Is Necessary
Like most veterinarians, I became one because of a love for animals, science and learning. Unfortunately, critical skills such as self-awareness, effective communication and resilience aren’t required to graduate from veterinary school. That missing combination can cause us to burn out and leave the profession unless we have the support to help us survive and grow.
One vital difference I experienced between corporate and independent practice is the amount of support available to develop needed skills. Independent owners are free to choose the practice model, but they must drive themselves to learn and grow their business and pay for consultants and other help, which can be costly. In a corporate setting, you don’t have the freedom of ownership, but you can access business and leadership expertise to assist in your development. Granted, the experts are likely your bosses, but they have valuable perspectives and knowledge and want to see you succeed.
Having worked on both sides, I can pass on what I’ve learned. Hopefully, my story will:
- Inspire and encourage you to try something new.
- Face the reality that self-development and growth, while sometimes painful, are necessary to succeed.
- Get you to at least take a baby step.
Evolving From Exhaustion to Empowerment
Are you a weary hospital manager or director? Are you tired of fixing all your practice’s problems, answering nonstop questions and telling direct reports what they need to do? I mean, seriously, they should be able to figure things out by now, especially after you show them time and time again what to do. Holding their hand is exhausting. Then, of course, some of them quit, forcing you to hire all over again. On top of all that, you have your work to do and not enough time. If you don’t keep all the plates spinning, you fear that one will fall and bad things will happen. After all, your job, license and business are on the line.
If any of that describes you, I have a gift for you. There’s a better way to lead and get what you want. Where everyone does their job, does it well and is happy doing it. Where you have time to tackle your myriad responsibilities while your team members take the lead and grow in their roles.
I know all this because that exhausted manager was me 25 years ago.
Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire
When I was two weeks out of veterinary school, my boss, the New Mexico practice owner, left after suffering a hand-degloving injury involving a chute and a Charolais bull. He moved two hours away to West Texas and basically disappeared, leaving me to manage an untrained team and shelves of brown glass jars filled with boluses and concoctions I didn’t know how to use.
Granted, I went to work for him knowing he was well past retirement age and wanted to sell the practice, but in my defense, I had followed a boyfriend who lived nearby, and professionally, I was looking for independence. The boy thing fell apart (of course it did), but I got independence in spades. I was a young, single woman in the middle of nowhere with no mentor, family or support. Fresh out of school, I was learning to practice veterinary medicine and was in charge of a team that included a 25-year office manager loyal to the old ways, a volatile veterinary assistant and an untrained, disinterested receptionist. Eight months later, I went all in and bought that practice, signing the paperwork on April Fool’s Day.
Like many veterinarians, I was driven by perfectionism and the fear of failure. And like many independent practice owners, I had no formal communications or business management training. Therefore, I was unprepared to lead people. The short story is I cried a lot, lost sleep, and ran off many employees. Despite all that, I survived and grew. Nothing feeds personal growth like desperation and discomfort.
While my journey of self-discovery at that clinic on the plains felt long and arduous, I learned to lead differently. I realized what I was doing wasn’t effective, so I hungrily consumed business and leadership articles and books and applied what I learned, usually in baby steps. Along the way were hundreds of a-ha moments when the light bulb in my head switched on.
During the back half of my time in New Mexico, the practice was filled with empowered team members instead of employees waiting for me to tell them what to do. They didn’t need me to help them do their jobs and were offended when I tried. They didn’t come to me with constant questions. Instead, they solved problems and collaborated on solutions. They knew where the practice was headed and how they contributed to its success. I was so proud. It was glorious.
Becoming a Leader Who Empowers
I share all this with you because I want to encourage you. You might be ready to set fire to your practice (which I considered many times), but there is another way. Instead of spending your energy fixing and telling, you can become a leader who gets out of the way, empowers your team and leads from behind. When you do, you’ll be amazed at what is possible. An empowered team is more productive. Everyone will give you their all, stay employed with you longer and try new things. What’s more awesome is you’ll end up working yourself out of the job of telling everyone what to do, which means you can move on to better things or just take a vacation.
Becoming a leader who empowers others doesn’t happen by accident. It takes intention, self-reflection and self-management. It starts with taking a hard look at yourself and your interactions and assessing how you react to the world. Are you putting out fires and directing every step? Or are you delegating, planning and leading with purpose and vision?
Transitioning from an authoritarian controller to an empowering leader is a humbling experience. I had to eat a lot of crow and move my ego out of the way many times. Missteps occurred, but the effort brought so much reward. In those early days, I didn’t have a mentor, coach or manager to help me, but I wish I had one then. And I wish I had realized how much help I needed.
Everyone Needs Recognition
One easy way to empower is through the simple act of recognition. Several months ago, I worked with a traveling veterinary assistant I’ll call Sara. I didn’t know the traveling job existed, but I’m glad it does. I can only imagine how intimidating it can be to walk into a clinic to work with people you don’t know. I had been there only a couple of weeks.
It occurred to me how stressful the workday might be for Sara, a brave woman wanting to do her best but lacking basic knowledge, such as where to find syringes and how to enter notes. As I worked with her, I was reminded about the importance of praise and of getting a fist bump, high-five or genuine thank you. Everyone wants to know what’s expected of them and how they’re doing. They also want to feel appreciated and valued. People — especially your people — need validation and recognition.
In my early leadership days, I struggled to give praise, even though I appreciated my team members for being there, doing what they did and doing it well. Verbalizing that praise didn’t happen often and didn’t strike me as critical enough to prioritize.
Why was I so stingy with appreciation and recognition? Perhaps I didn’t realize how much influence I had, or I didn’t think praise from me mattered. That was somewhat stupid in hindsight since I was the boss and rather open about correcting mistakes. Ouch.
As doctors, we quickly see what’s wrong and try to fix it. That’s what we’re trained to do. However, recognizing what’s right and being grateful for it is a skill that requires practice.
Through my professional development, I learned that I’m task-driven and less comfortable with people interactions. I want to put my head down and get the work done. Stopping to make eye contact and changing my mental gears to the gratitude setting takes so much time. But that’s ridiculous, of course, because recognizing someone takes about 30 seconds, or maybe two minutes if you commit to a good conversation.
Another lightbulb moment I had on my leadership journey is this one: There is no efficiency when building a relationship. You must put in the work and give the connection the time and space to bloom. The efficiency will come later when trust emerges.
Positive Recognition: Just Do It
Let’s discuss the nuts and bolts of positive recognition (aka praise). Research shows that the best teams have a ratio of praise to criticism of about 5-to-1. How could you possibly accomplish such a herculean task? The process is simple. As soon as you witness or learn of a praiseworthy act, recognize it out loud. Don’t hesitate. If you wait too long, you might talk yourself out of saying something or just forget about it.
Venturing more into the weeds, understand that these two types of positive feedback exist:
- Appreciation not tied to performance: “I see you and value you for who you are.”
- Recognition for effort and outcomes: “You do great work.”
Each type carries a different value for the receiver. The first message is, “You care for me as a person.” The second is, “I’m doing what I should be doing, and you like it.”
What’s the best way to give praise? Again, any way works. Just do it, do it often and be sincere. It can be informal and in the moment, or it can take place during an official meeting. It can be verbal or written. A mailed handwritten note might seem too boomer-like, but I bet the recipient keeps the card. Giving recognition in front of the team, a client or a family member pays dividends, too, unless the individual hates public recognition. Therefore, be sure to know the person’s preferences.
Also, be specific. Tossing out “Great job!” will spark a warm fuzzy, but it’s quickly forgotten. Effective praise is specific enough for the receiver to remember and repeat the behavior.
Timeliness matters, so don’t let the sun set on the chance to give praise. Over time, small and timely feedback moments build confidence, security and trust, which leads to empowerment.
Heal Thyself
The last thing I want to leave you with is this: Finding moments to give positive recognition is good for the team and great for your mental health. Did you know you can’t be appreciative and grumpy at the same time? I’d much rather be appreciative. Wouldn’t you?
If you only remember one thing about empowerment, make it this: Praise is a necessary and powerful tool to motivate and energize your team.
Other valuable things to remember are these:
- All feedback is necessary, especially if you want your team members to stay and thrive.
- Praise people often and be specific and sincere about it.
- A healthy ratio of praise to criticism is 5-to-1.
- Appreciate both the person and the person’s work.
- Timeliness matters. Give great feedback now rather than later.
WINNING ADVICE
In my independent practice days, I was thankful for the few relief veterinarians who would come to rural New Mexico so I could take a vacation or earn continuing education hours. These days, hiring a veterinarian or skilled veterinary assistant or technician is like hitting the jackpot in Vegas.
Enter the traveling or relief veterinary assistant or technician. In a world where the average technician lasts only about eight years, a growing segment of veterinary professionals enjoys career flexibility and the freedom to choose when and where they work and how much they’re paid. Having someone ready to cover a staffing shortage, a vacation or an overbooked appointment schedule is priceless.
CUT TO THE CHASE
I’ll forever remember this quote: “There is more than one way to use scissors.” It was spoken by an irritated veterinary assistant trainee cutting 4-inch CoFlex. She was pushing the scissors into and bunching up the famously self-stick bandage.
I sounded like my kindergarten teacher when I told her, “Cut, don’t push.” I immediately realized I had gone too far. While there really is only one way to use scissors, I was over the top in correcting her because how she cut the bandage didn’t matter.
That was micromanagement at its finest. Had I kept the thought to myself, respected the trainee’s capability and prioritized our relationship instead of being right, she might have worked for me longer than a year.
My takeaway was to ask myself this: “Is the situation that important?” In other words, when should you tell people they’re wrong, possibly embarrassing them? More often than not, the situation isn’t more important than the safety and trust you create in your relationships with your team.
LEARN MORE
- “Why Employees Need Both Feedback and Appreciation,” Harvard Business Review, bit.ly/3T2HAAR
- “The Ideal Praise to Criticism Ratio,” Harvard Business Review, bit.ly/49Yp0Qh
- “Improve Talent Development With Our SBI Feedback Model,” Center for Creative Leadership, bit.ly/46Ar65Z