By the time you read this, my youngest will have graduated from college. I could not be prouder of both my daughters — proud of the adults they’ve become, the good they bring to the world, their intellect, good humor, curiosity and kindness. Not to mention, no more tuition or college expenses for Mom and Dad.
As I reflected on graduation lately, I feel obligated as a dad to pass on my advice and consider my daughter’s future. After all, isn’t sharing advice part of a parent’s job description? Whether she wants advice could be the topic of another column.
I’ve tried to narrow my advice to a Top 10 list. I make no claims of authorship for any of these ideas, as I’ve borrowed them from brighter minds. I’ve found the following tips beneficial and hope my daughter and the Class of 2024 find a few takeaways here as well.
1. Choose Optimism
The Winnie the Pooh character Eeyore famously finds the worst in every situation. Make no time for Eeyore. Instead, look for the best in all things. That doesn’t mean deluding yourself into thinking everything is OK. Rather, look for the positive and work to make a difference wherever possible. Similarly, choose a growth mindset over a scarcity mindset. A growth mindset is one in which you see collaboration versus competition, knowledge-sharing versus hoarding, generosity versus withholding, and opportunities versus barriers.
2. Remember Your ABCs
Always be curious. Ask questions, listen and learn. Lifelong learners build self-confidence, improve their cognitive and mental health, increase their competence and better achieve personal fulfillment.
3. Realize That Being Uncomfortable Is Good
We learn the most when we’re uncomfortable. As you grow, you’ll often find yourself uncomfortable. That’s OK. The goal is to be better, not perfect. Winston Churchill once said, “Success is not final; failure is not fatal.” When you do fail (and we all do), practice self-kindness. Take it easy on yourself, and embrace being uncomfortable.
4. Know That It’s OK to Fail
Wayne Gretzky, arguably history’s best hockey player, said, “You’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Likewise, Dory from Disney’s Finding Nemo said simply, “Just keep swimming.” While failure can be painful, it’s also a chance to learn and improve. Failure often opens new doors and begins new journeys. Try to see failure as an opportunity and not a threat. Take your shots, and keep on swimming.
5. Assume Best Intent
One of my first leadership gurus was 7 Habits author Stephen Covey. Among the habits he espoused is assuming the best intent (also expressed as giving people the benefit of the doubt). That habit is harder than it might seem, particularly in this day of virtual communication. We often take offense or rise to conflict when those we communicate with aren’t aware that their email, text or post might be perceived as rude or embarrassing. Assume best intent.
6. Surround Yourself With Smarter People
I don’t necessarily mean smart in terms of IQ. Look to gain perspective from all kinds of people. Smarter people make you think about things differently. Always listen, particularly to those unlike you. You’ll never learn anything by listening to yourself.
7. Enjoy the Journey
Find joy in the everyday. Try not to focus on the destination but on the moment. And don’t be in too big of a hurry. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, and the second-best time is today. Take time to stop and smell the roses.
8. Think Critically
Form your opinions based on facts, evidence and your observations. Critical thinking leads to better decisions, increases self-awareness, helps discern fact from fiction and improves problem-solving. Hold your strong opinions loosely. Be open to new ways of thinking.
9. Learn to Deliver and Receive Feedback
Early careers are weighted toward receiving feedback and later careers toward delivering it. Both are critical throughout life. The beauty of feedback is it helps us grow. We don’t always like it, but it’s good for us. View feedback as a gift.
10. Understand That Work Is Not Your Life
I’ve often mistakenly thought that veterinary medicine is my life, not my life’s work. That’s a subtle but critical distinction. This generation has a much better understanding of work-life balance than my boomer generation does. Don’t burn yourself out chasing success. Take care of yourself. Life comes before work.
The Class of 2024 inherits a world with much to be optimistic about. Harvard psychologist Dr. Steven Pinker makes the case that there’s never been a better time than now. For example:
- The global average IQ is rising three points every decade.
- The world is 100 times wealthier than it was two centuries ago.
- Today, people work less, have more vacation days and spend less time on housework.
- We have more disposable income.
- World literacy is up.
- We are living longer.
- We are safer.
Dr. Pinker argues, “For all the bleeding headlines, for all the crises, collapses, scandals, plagues, epidemics and existential threats, these are accomplishments to be celebrated.”
My wife and I are adjusting to being empty nesters. I miss my kids, but I take solace in the people they’ve become and the future they’ll create. Despite many parental missteps, our children somehow have grown into remarkable human beings.
Likewise, despite COVID-19, political dissension, global warming and perceived crisis after crisis, the veterinary professional in the Class of 2024 is ready to bring new thinking, idealism and energy to the industry.
Choose optimism. Enjoy the journey. The Class of 2024 has much to look forward to. Your future is bright.
DID YOU KNOW?
According to World Population Review, Japan has the highest average IQ at 106.48. The United States averages 97.43. The complete list is at bit.ly/3Ub9RFy.