How to Support Grieving Clients

I recently reread thank-you cards I kept from my days as an emergency clinician. Many were from people who chose to euthanize their pets. They wrote how much they appreciated my kindness and that they would always be grateful. Multiple clients commented on how the team’s compassion made a difficult decision easier. Then, I recalled making the same heart-wrenching decision years later at the same practice. I’ll never forget the kindness of a veterinary technician with whom I worked, and I’ll always be grateful that she comforted me during such a sad time.

Veterinary team members are compassionate and usually do an excellent job during end-of-life interactions. Having said that, I still field questions about how to navigate client conversations and the protocols to follow. Knowing how to assist anguished pet owners who decide to euthanize a beloved companion can alleviate stress in them and your team members.

Let’s look at communication best practices.

Convey Empathy

Team members who don’t know what to say often say nothing. All practice employees should know how to convey empathy and support grieving clients.

Here are examples of what a client service representative should say when receiving a call to book an end-of-life appointment.

• “I’m so sorry to hear this, Ms. Smith. We love Bella.”
• “We know this is a difficult time, Mr. Williams, and we will do anything we can to help you.”

During in-person communication, be fully present. Avoid distractions or, worse, rushing the client. Some want to talk about their pets, while others are overwhelmed.

These appropriate statements focus on the pet and human-animal bond:

• “We’re all so sad. It has been an honor to care for Charlie.”
• “Jake is the best dog. We’re going to miss him, too.”
• “We know how much Callie means to you and how difficult this situation is. Please know your decision is one of compassion.”

Nonverbal communication is meaningful. One of the best ways to show kindness is with eye contact and a caring expression. A gentle touch on the shoulder is fine if the pet owner is receptive. For clients you know well, hugs often come naturally.

Establish Protocols

Euthanasia policies are critical to ensure consistency and the continuity of medical care. Written protocols are a valuable reference tool for new employees especially.

Here are standards and procedures for creating the best end-of-life experience for pet owners and their cherished companions.

• Establish telephone standards so that client service representatives know how to schedule euthanasia appointments and express empathy.
• Use a client communication checklist before the appointment. The list includes information about payments, burial and cremation choices, what to expect on the day of the procedure, and whether the pet owner wants to be present.
• Set hospitalwide alerts. Many practices use lights or candles when grieving clients are present. Alternatives include a flag system or sign on exam room doors. CSRs can inform team members during morning rounds about euthanasia appointments.
• Try to use a designated comfort room. Always place towels or blankets on the exam table or floor for the patient. Have tissues and small bottles of water available for the pet owner.
• Create a medical script that the technical team can use to tell pet owners what to expect.
• Offer a client time alone with the pet after it passes. Some appreciate the opportunity.
• Define where and how clients leave the hospital. Ideally, a team member should walk the pet owner outside. If the person seems distressed, ask whether you should call someone for a ride home.
• Hand out a list of grief resources to euthanasia clients. (Check out Lap of Love at bit.ly/3TwzQHm.)
• Send cards, pawprints, flowers or other mementos within three days. Clients appreciate physical cards since they often receive condolences by text or social media posts.

Money Conversations

Asking for payment on the day you euthanize a patient can be a challenge for veterinary teams. Clients might become upset and accuse you of not caring. Talking about money isn’t easy during times of heightened emotions.

Here are five ways to confidently engage in payment conversations in end-of-life cases.

• Don’t apologize for your fees. Instead, be transparent and genuine and convey empathy and a desire to help. You can say: “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know veterinary services can be expensive. I’ll be sure to review everything and answer any questions you have.”
• Explain all the fees when you schedule the appointment. You might say: “Let me review the charges and your options for aftercare. We find doing it now to be helpful so that you won’t have to do it when you come in.” Those statements focus on decisions about burial and cremation, not just money.
• Tell pet owners how and when you’ll collect the payment. You might offer the option to pay by phone or via a text link. Tell the client you’ll take care of the paperwork before the procedure.
• Escort clients to the exam room when they arrive. Remind them that you’ll get their signature on release forms and can collect the payment inside the room.
• Inform pet owners about third-party payment plans or other finance choices. You might say, “Would you like me to review all your payment options?”

Team Support

Don’t forget about your team’s well-being and self-care. Losing a patient takes a toll on veterinary professionals, especially if they were involved in the pet’s care. Therefore, create opportunities for everyone to support each other. During a morning huddle or standing meeting, you might take a few minutes for everyone to share their feelings and memories about the client and pet. In addition, encourage everyone to ask for help if they need it. Remind team members about all the other pets and clients they help daily using compassion and skills.

Paradoxically, helping pet owners with end-of-life decisions can lead to greater client loyalty and referrals, which ultimately help more pets get the care they deserve.

WRITE WHAT YOU FEEL

A final word about sympathy cards: They’re meaningful, but they must contain a personal message.

Some practices have team members, including the doctors, sign a stack of ready-to-mail cards. The problem with that tactic is the card can feel generic. Instead, the patient’s doctor or another team member with a strong connection to the client should write something. It’s OK if other employees also sign the card.

After I lost my Papillon, the neurologist who cared for her sent me a special message with a drawing of Chloe on beautiful stationery. Of course, I still have it.

We owe it to clients to write a personal note.