You, a hurried veterinarian, are running late because you are multitasking. Your technician, Crystal, was already in the exam room and completed the basic patient advocacy talks with Mr. Jones and his Chihuahua-pit bull cross, an intact male named Buddy. As Crystal left the room, she noted, “The doctor will be right in.” Argh! The definition of “right in” is so vague.
The Lickability Test
As you enter the room, Mr. Jones barely looks up from his phone. You try to look into his one eye — that is all he turned away from the phone to share with you — and you greet him and Buddy. Mr. Jones growls, but Buddy approaches you with his tail wagging. He licks his lips and sniffs your hands. Mr. Jones raises his other eye because he rarely sees Buddy positively intrigued with anybody, let alone a veterinarian. (We can safely assume that Buddy is comfortable with your practice.) When you greet Buddy, he goes after your hand with a big slobbery lick. In fact, he goes after both hands and continues licking.
What Mr. Jones didn’t know, since he was accompanying Buddy to your clinic for the first time, was the number of treats Buddy received at his last visit. This time, the peanut butter smeared on your hands helped you pass the lickability test.
What just occurred? You engaged in positive impression management with Buddy and your client, Mr. Jones. Acing Buddy’s lickability test opened the door for you to a greater challenge: passing Mr. Jones’ likability test. The lickability test was easy. On the other hand, the likability test takes more effort as you must overcome implicit biases, external distractions, diverse personalities and unpredictable emotions, among other challenges.
The Science of Likability
Despite all those challenges, there is actual science to generating likability and rapport. Studied and researched by social scientists and strategically implemented by international intelligence experts, likability persuades people to do things they otherwise might not consider. How and why does it work? Scientifically speaking, it is what Dr. Robert Cialdini calls the principle of liking in his “Seven Principles of Persuasion.” (Learn more at bit.ly/3Jl5j7a.) The science can help you, the veterinarian, pass the client likability test.
John Gervino, a retired U.S. special agent and a leading educator on the art of persuasion, influence and rapport-building, teaches the principle of liking through his Washington, D.C., consulting firm, Truth Intelligence. Gervino works to enhance job performance on a global scale through likability techniques, interpersonal dynamics and science-based communication skills. He helps individuals become more likable, resulting in better business relationships and increased professional success.
A lifelong rescuer of dogs, Gervino shared his insights on the principle of liking in the veterinarian-client-patient relationship and on how to build the rapport and trust required to pass a client’s sniff test.
“It begins with the liking principle,” Gervino said. “The techniques form the basis of the science of liking, which along with other persuasion methods can be used to establish rapport, facilitate cooperation and, most importantly, gain trust.”
Liking techniques are used every day. They are based on the powerful persuasion tactics of marketers and advertisers to get us to buy products and do things not necessarily because we need them or they will make our lives easier but because we receive the messaging and like the messenger. Veterinary practices can use such techniques and feel good about it.
Why does the liking principle matter? At the end of the day, pet owners are paying for the patient visit. They decide whether they’ll return to your practice, so it’s important that they like you.
How It Works
Social scientists have studied the liking principle and its positive results for decades. Government agents use the principle to establish rapport in challenging situations and build the trust required to persuade people to cooperate.
“When people like you, it is good for short- and long-term business strategies,” Gervino said. “In the veterinarian industry, this is good for the overall health of the pet patient because client-owners are more likely to listen to your recommendations, take your advice and return to your practice, affording the pet an environment of consistent care. People tend to want to be around you when they like you.
“The liking principle targets the subconscious and is rooted in a person’s System 1 thought processes, also known as mental shortcuts that take over decision-making processes without methodical analysis,” Gervino said. “Our brains like to operate in the System 1 thinking space because it is an intuitive, emotional and rapid response. The flipside of System 1 thinking is System 2 thinking, which is more deliberate, methodical and taxing on our brains. For example, when you are in the operating room performing surgery on a patient, you utilize System 2 thinking methods. Human beings generally tend to avoid System 2 thinking because it requires more mental energy.”
Why Do You Like Me? Let Me Count the Ways
Here are the three most important factors that tend to generate liking, according to the research.
1. Physical Attractiveness
Let’s face it, some people will like you simply because you’re physically attractive. All day long, people make judgments primarily using their System 1 thinking processes, such as deciding how and where to spend their money. Some judgments are based on outward appearances, including personal grooming, clothing and external features such as a smile.
Think about what you and your team wear every day. What can you do to highlight your positive features and attributes? (Remember, a warm smile goes a long way.) Presenting yourself professionally brings you one step closer to becoming likable.
2. Flattery Will Get You Everywhere
Lynn Anderson wrote the 1968 song “Flattery Will Get You Everywhere.” Whether you call it flattery, a compliment or praise, finding something nice to say is a powerful tool for generating likability with someone. People typically want to be complimented and flattered because it makes them feel good. They also want to feel good about their pets. The takeaway is this: Make sure there is plenty of praise in the exam room for both the pet and its owner.
Praise for the pet is a compliment to the client. Remember that when you offer a compliment or use flattery, be specific with names — first names when appropriate — and sound genuine, even if your response might not be merited necessarily. People want to believe the compliments, flattery and praise you offer.
Sometimes the greatest compliment of all can be showing clients that you remember them by knowing their names and their pets’ without taking a quick look at the patient chart. A veterinarian’s day is hectic, but briefly reviewing the chart before you enter the exam room can go a long way toward generating likability.
Here are examples of how to use compliments, praise and flattery in the exam room:
- Pet patient praise: “Excellent job sitting still during the exam, Buddy! What a good boy you are.”
- Pet patient compliment: “Buddy, so great to see the weight you’ve lost.”
- Pet patient flattery: “What a beautiful boy you are, Buddy!”
- Client praise: “Mr. Jones, you’ve done a great job taking care of Buddy since his last visit.” (Specifically point out any conditions that improved.)
- Client compliment: “What an excellent choice in breed you made. These dogs are so smart and loyal.”
- Client flattery: “Mr. Jones, thanks for your support of the practice and the great care that you provide for Buddy.”
3. Similarity
We tend to like individuals who are similar to us. We often seek out people who also like us. Like attracts like. The similarities can be based broadly on things like physical appearance, background, age, ethnicity and culture. They also can be more specific, stemming from personal preferences such as a choice of pet and breed, hobbies, sports and leisure activities.
As a best practice, if you want to generate likability, start taking notes about a client’s interests and bring them up in conversation. You’ll be amazed at how demonstrating personal awareness of the client can significantly increase your likability.
Active listening skills and non-verbal communication can be integrated into the veterinarian-client-patient relationship, too, but that’s another article.
A veterinarian’s job is to attend to the needs of patients, but the reality is that their owners want and need attention just as much as the pets do. In general, human beings want to be heard, understood and liked (though probably not licked). They innately want to like you, their professional pet caregiver. Most significantly, clients want to know that they can trust you.
Although veterinarians frequently use olfactory and gustatory priming on pets by doing things like giving treats, passing the client likability test requires a knowledge of the science behind it. Understanding the liking principle and applying it in your practice will help build lasting relationships.
Likability and being genuine about it are intrinsically linked. It is about sincerity and showing congruence with the client to whom you communicate. The science supports the liking principle. It is up to you to integrate it into your practice’s foundation, from the client-service level to the technicians and professional staff.
Pet owners like doing business with the veterinarians they like. Your goal is to be both pet lickable and human likable.
THE LIKING PRINCIPLE
Dr. Robert Cialdini’s book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” listed liking as one of his Seven Principles of Persuasion. The others are reciprocity, consistency, social proof, authority, unity and scarcity.
According to the liking principle, we are more likely to be persuaded by people we like, who are like us and who we want to be like. Put differently, the more you like someone, the more likely you will say “yes” to them.
According to Dr. Cialdini: “Persuasion science tells us that there are three important factors. We like people who are similar to us, we like people who pay us compliments, and we like people who cooperate with us towards mutual goals.”
THINKING DIFFERENTLY
Daniel Kahneman used “System 1” and “System 2” in his 2011 bestselling book “Thinking Fast and Slow” to distinguish between automatic and deliberate thought processes. His model divides the mind’s processes into two distinct systems:
- System 1 “is the brain’s fast, automatic, intuitive approach.” System 1 activity includes the innate mental activities we are born with, such as a preparedness to perceive the world around us, recognize objects, orient attention, avoid losses — and fear spiders! Other mental activities become fast and automatic through prolonged practice.
- System 2 is “the mind’s slower, analytical mode, where reason dominates.” Usually, System 2 activity is activated when we do something that does not come naturally and requires conscious mental exertion.
WHO IS JOHN GERVINO?
John Gervino is a former U.S. special agent and mobile interrogation team leader for the multiagency High-Value Detainee Interrogation Group. He spent his life learning communication skills and applying them in challenging situations at home and abroad.
Gervino now teaches the neuroscience behind communication and behavior at federal agencies, universities and businesses. He and his team teach business and law enforcement professionals about science-based techniques surrounding interviews, deception detection, negotiations, and persuasion and influence. Among other skills, he trains people to differentiate between truth and lies.
An avid dog lover, he wanted to share his knowledge with veterinary professionals.